My Green Thumb isn't Totally Black

I love houseplants. I love the way they look and the way they bring a little of the natural world into my home. I tend to name my plants as well. I have to admit, I used to feel like I was a lone weirdo to be doing this until I met my co-worker. She also names her plants.

The problem is, I'm not the best at taking care of them. I try, I really do. Part of the problem is the way the house faces. There isn't a really good, bright south-facing window where my plants can bask in the sun. The plants I tend to gravitate towards need this kind of southern exposure. So they struggle and often they succumb over time.

I always sort of blamed myself, really. I didn't water them enough. I didn't check to make sure they were okay. I felt truly bad for the demise of my greenery. And then, then I realized. It's not just me.

Its the kittens.

I recently got my grandmother's hibiscus plant back from my parents. I love this damn plant. I love it sooo much. It's kind of a link to my past. My late grandmother adored it and it lived happily in her home for years. Then, I got it. In my old house, with no cats, it struggled because of lighting issues.

Here, it struggles because Everdeen has decided it's a salad. He is addicted to the damn thing. He grazes on the leaves and then goes off and pukes them up. Usually that takes place on my youngest daughter's bedroom rug but sometimes our feet will caress the oozy pile of moist cat vomit on our way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

This is what the plant looks like now. The leaves are tattered from grazing attacks. The lower branches are bare. I only hope that the green I see is a sign that there will be new growth and that it will recover.

I also hope putting it up on the table and shutting doors so the cats can't reach it will work. Because, not only do I not want to lose this plant I am also so tired of stepping in vomit at 3 am.

Moving, Kittens and Changes

It's been three years and there have been a lot of changes. You may be asking such important questions as "But Kittens? Yes?" and "What changes?" and "Moving?Where?". Not to mention, "Why does she think my questions would be so short and grammatically incorrect?"

Well, I don't per se. I know that most people are capable of asking questions that are not simply comprised of two to three words and one thing I like about my friends is the fact that they have a firm grasp of grammar and the English language. But there have been a lot of changes in the three years since this blog was updated.

The kittens are still here and doing quite well, indeed. They are quite a bit bigger then they were back in 2012. Everdeen has topped 16 pounds and Earl, while lighter, isn't exactly a feline midget. Last time he was weighed he was about 13 or 14 pounds. They now get to explore a house rather than being confined to an apartment. Oh, and we may have thrown in an 80 pound dog into the mix. That, likely, was the low point in the kittens' life. Everdeen has come around somewhat. Earl is still plotting the dog's downfall between skulking in the shadows and trying to catch the laser pointer. I still can't have nice things.

Both cats have responded quite well to having a much larger territory to roam around in and we've gone out of our way to ensure that there is some fun terrain for them to explore. Case in point, my office:

My loving husband putting up cat shelves

Now I can work while the cats climb

Everdeen seeing what he can knock off

Earl surveying his new kingdom

It's taken them a few days to get used to the idea and Everdeen seems to be using the shelves a lot more than Earl but I'm patient. I'm sure that before long they'll both be up there staring down at the dogs.

Kitten food ain't paying for itself!

So I know I sound crazy when I say things like "my kitten won't let me come to work today" and "I think my kittens are trying to sabotage my career" but the thing is, you just need the back story and then it doesn't seem crazy.

Well, not AS crazy.

Here's how I got to the point where I would say those things.

So yesterday I thought I was going to have to call in "kitten". Everdeen has a habit of hanging out on my bed in the morning. We play, have quality time. I usually end up bleeding from somewhere but it's still quality time.

Yesterday, I go to get out of bed and Ev leaps down and begins to attack my feet like a whirling pack of ginsu knives. Wisely, I retreated up onto the bed. End attack. I then went to get up and again the foot attacks began. I retreated. The cycle repeated and I began to suspect he wanted me to just stay home. I managed to make it into work but the woman giving me my pedicures is worried about my health.

Fast forward to this morning. I was allowed to get up but when I went to put my glasses on I found that they were gone. Gone. Vanished. This is a problem.

You see, I can't. See, that is. I am pretty much blind without my glasses. And what do you need to do to find glasses? That's right. See. It's a vicious cycle. I put the damn things in the same spot every night because if I put them somewhere else I usually can't find them.

I have checked everywhere around my glasses spot thinking they may have been knocked off. They are gone. As in, kitten putting it in their mouth and pelting off with it gone. Which makes them hard to find, especially when you can't see.

Thank goodness for contact lenses. Because if I called in kitten it wouldn't go over well. And kitten food isn't paying for itself!

New flavour of cereal on the market

Kellogg's Frosted Kitten Wheats. Doubt it will be a big seller but high in fibre and cuteness.

Cats and curtains

Yes. This is Everdeen. And yes, he is seven feet up and sitting on my curtain rod. I guess climbing is what he likes to do when he isn't watching golf.

If A Tree Falls In The Forest

So. The kittens finally did it when I had a camera close at hand. My loyal tree (duly dubbed "blogfodder") was sent crashing to the ground. It is for this eventuality and this alone that shatterproof ornaments were purchased for said tree.

There are two images included with this post. The first is blogfodder laying, in all of its sad glory, full out on the floor, decorations scattered on the floor like leaves after a whirlwind. You can see Earl looking through the wreckage like a shark sniffing around once blood has been scented in the water. What you CANNOT see, unless you look closely, is Everdeen, buried in the branches, vainly gnawing on the simulated needles.

I think he hates my tree. Poor blogfodder. Never did anything other than stand there and look pretty. But no, even after blogfodder was packed lovingly in its box, the assault and indignities continued. The second image is actually Everdeen GNAWING on the box. Sheesh dude, kick a tree while its down why don't you!?!

Oh God, I hope he grows out of this next year. Please somebody, tell me it gets better!

But should he have used a putter?

The youngest tiny elephant is apparently into watching golf. This has come as a bit of a surprise as our household really doesn't follow sports as a rule.

I guess I should only be worried if he starts offering advice about which clubs to use on any given hole.