If A Tree Falls In The Forest

So. The kittens finally did it when I had a camera close at hand. My loyal tree (duly dubbed "blogfodder") was sent crashing to the ground. It is for this eventuality and this alone that shatterproof ornaments were purchased for said tree.

There are two images included with this post. The first is blogfodder laying, in all of its sad glory, full out on the floor, decorations scattered on the floor like leaves after a whirlwind. You can see Earl looking through the wreckage like a shark sniffing around once blood has been scented in the water. What you CANNOT see, unless you look closely, is Everdeen, buried in the branches, vainly gnawing on the simulated needles.

I think he hates my tree. Poor blogfodder. Never did anything other than stand there and look pretty. But no, even after blogfodder was packed lovingly in its box, the assault and indignities continued. The second image is actually Everdeen GNAWING on the box. Sheesh dude, kick a tree while its down why don't you!?!

Oh God, I hope he grows out of this next year. Please somebody, tell me it gets better!

But should he have used a putter?

The youngest tiny elephant is apparently into watching golf. This has come as a bit of a surprise as our household really doesn't follow sports as a rule.

I guess I should only be worried if he starts offering advice about which clubs to use on any given hole.

Where The Wild Things Are

Who says closets are just for coats and shoes? Everdeen disagrees wholeheartedly. Apparently they are also for lurking which is what wild things do.

Like Bigfoot, wild kittens are notoriously hard to photograph.

They also climb curtains and crap in potted plants. This has not been the most successful of visits where kittens are concerned.

Tiny Elephants= Unstoppable Christmas Fury

It's the first Christmas for the tiny elephants. It has been interesting to say the least. Between their unhealthy interest in imitation trees, their need to chase toes during 3 am bathroom runs and the "miracle" of catnip given at 6 am, this year has been a year of watchfulness, constant alertness and pain. But oh so entertaining.

I have learned that when you shut kittens in a bedroom, all it does is delay the chaos and that 30 seconds after freeing them they will become furry lightning bolts pelting around a room at Mach 8. Not good for that statue of Santa. Or the mug of coffee. Or the food on the table. It's good to know.

Merry Christmas to you and yours. I'd love to let you see a picture of the restrained chaos but I was too busy retrieving a kitten from the tree to take one.

Don't tell Earl he can't jump that high

I think my older kitten, Earl, secretly thinks he is an outdoor cat. Not that he knows what that means, mind you. I mean, let's face it. He can't even do in a bug. He just circles it and circles it, looking at it with a worried look on his feline face.

He's terrified of our chinchilla. This is a rodent from South America. When reviewing information on chinchillas, all experts agree that domesticated felines are actually one of the main predators that chinchillas have to worry about. And yet, when perched on her cage and poised to attack, Earl simply minces around with a look that says"mommy! It TOUCHED me! Help!"

If he was to stalk prey, it would likely die of old age (or laughter) before he could move in for the kill. So no. Earl was not meant for outdoor life.

But bless his simple little mind, he WANTS to be fiercely independent. I think the chief example of this is his need to climb. But what does he climb? Doorways. Yes. Doorways. And he isn't very skilled at it, either. No, his version of climbing entails gazing adoringly at me, then the wall, and back at me again.

That's the cue. I then wait for him to leap vertically, grab his hind end, and boost him up the wall. Pause for effect at the top of the door so all can bask in his accomplishment. Then, down he comes. Usually because he has nipped me for daring to touch his wild self. I assume anyway. No part of this routine makes sense to me.

So next time you see me standing in a doorway, holding a kitten up by the ceiling don't look directly at him. It'll ruin it for him.

Changing the chinchilla

Nothing bad could POSSIBLY happen. Right? Right?

Hypno Kitty says "you WILL jump in the tub!"

This scene could have ended very, VERY messily. Luckily, I intervened and no kittens got wet.

Opening the gift basket

Recently I won a wonderful gift basket as a door prize at my work Christmas party. I checked it over at the party and it was pretty sweet.

I just didn't remember a kitten being a part of the contents. Oh hey, Everdeen. See anything you like?

I guess I don't need to leave water out

So I guess no one told Earl what the toilet was actually for. Which is why he must have been so confused when we used it for its actual intended purpose. I know I would be mad if someone went to the washroom in my water bowl.

Since when do I feel weird about using my own washroom? Right. Since I got the kittens and Earl has begun staring at me whenever I sit down in there.

A tale of two kitties

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I, a firm "dog person" had agreed to take in a wee kitten that had been turned in at work. Alas, he was too ill and had to be put down. In the weeks we had him, however, my two children had become attached to him and losing him was hard.

Because of that, I decided to open our home up to a new wee one. So, I drove about 45 minutes to a home that had a plethora of kittens and set out to choose just one. And Earl joined our family.

The early days were full of 3am stealthy foot attacks, constant arm shredding and general low-level mayhem. I learned valuable lessons from Earl. I learned the value of stillness. That moving lumps in the bed usually mean pain. And finally, wearing socks to bed is better than dealing with pre-dawn toe gnawing sessions.

Fast forward a few weeks. The animal hospital where I work was having an open house and there were 4 wee ones needing homes. At least 2 were spoken for. But one wee fellow was placed in my arms and promptly "booped" my nose. He then fell asleep and it was over. I had lost. A new kitten was coming home with us. We called him Everdeen because of his catness.

It's been interesting to say the least. Earl was less than pleased and made his anger known. But after four or five days they got along and are rarely away from one another now. And now they plot together which makes things much more difficult.

I doubt there will be another (famous last words). I doubt my apartment can handle the mayhem.

Why I don't invest in expensive curtains

Enough said. Oh. And for those of you who don't know what the picture is, this is Everdeen after he scaled some very pretty curtains and decided to walk along the curtain rod.

This is why I can't have nice things.

Just an Introduction

Hey! Welcome to my blog! Most of the people reading this will know me and are likely the same people who read my Facebook posts. But for the people who have stumbled across this randomly, here's a bit about me.

I'm a single mom of two girls. I also share my apartment with two kittens. I was told that as kids and kittens get older they become less prone to making messes. To whoever it was that said that, I shake my middle finger at you, for you are a liar!

It's a good thing that they're so cute.